Watching from the sidelines

I was supposed to work today, but the schedule got changed.  Yep, money is tight…is that obvious?  I have been sort of sad last night and this morning.  I had a falling out with one of my best friends, and I don’t even know why.  It’s on my end of things, and I just felt this growing resentment of him and have been ignoring his texts and calls for 3 days now.  Maybe 4 days.

I just pulled out some black bean brownies!  I got the recipe here: So far, the few tastes I’ve had are good.  I don’t get why all the reviews said they couldn’t even taste the beans…I sure can, and I followed the instructions perfectly.  I don’t know if it’s because I eat them so often and I just know their taste perfectly or what.  I am interested to see if Dustin likes the brownies.  I don’t think he’ll be able to pinpoint the taste.

It has been rainy all week and is supposed to continue that way.  I have been pretty good about my exercise, which I’m proud of.  Today I just feel like I have no strength, although I am sure by the end of the day I’ll have accomplished something.

Dreaming of warm weather, wanting a beach.  I keep living out that fantasy in my mind.  Stella playing in the waves on a long leash, me walking, half naked on a WARM beach, Dustin laughing and being reflective.  He is his best self near water.

Still coughing, but we are both feeling better.  We were both sick for about a week.

My family dog, Samantha, of 14 years fell over and died yesterday.  It was also Dustin’s dad’s birthday.

I deleted most of my pictures and have none on my computer of dear ole Samantha, but I’ve had her since the third grade!  She was in my life longer than my dad.  So yeah, she meant something to me.  My mom called me crying while I was at work.  This was after my boss was giving me a life coaching class.  It was weird.  Everything about my days have been so weird!



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